Flirting

Darkneuro has a post today about her surprise at someone flirting with her. Read the entire post here. She was berating herself for getting half way home before recognizing that a store clerk had been flirting.

In my experience, women tend to be more subtle with their flirting than men. And, too, men can all too often miss even the most obvious sorts of flirting when it's staring them in the face. (Yes, guilty, as charged - but I'm getting better). Darkneuro's story is a familiar one to me, at least.

But, I was at Home Depot the other day - I'm there several days a week for someone's project or another and I know most of the people by their first names. But, my cashier was new, maybe in her late-20's, and when we completed the sale and I was turning to leave, she cocked her head just a little and smiled at me, saying "see-ya...."

Nice!

These sorts of little encounters in a day can really give you a lift. They are memorable - if only for the more soulful contact they provide. (OK, the tingle in the groin is nice too!)

Darkneuro complained she doesn't know how to flirt. I believe less is more: making and holding eye contact, perhaps for a bit longer than usual is huge! It says, I noticed you - and I like what I see. A simple "Hi" - said with a bit of warmth can be very powerful. On the receiving end, raising your eyebrows (with smiling eyes?) makes a great response....

I think perhaps the most important element here is a sense of spontaneity and "on-the-fly" reaction to a situation - i.e. unpremeditated. And, this suggests going about your daily business with a certain openness of spirit; a certain sort of availability to the world at large which can make the landscape we occupy so much more alive and rich. Our connection to the world is essentially erotic (says James Hillman) - the world speaks to us through *attraction*. Flirting in this respect is simply being alive and available to the world that surrounds us....